Bono Mack: Churches Give Us Ways to Deal with Pain. Families Give Us Strength. Not Drugs.

By Gina Tenorio • The Desert Sun

There was a time when Rep. Mary Bono Mack said she could not fathom publicly tackling the addictions that have plagued her family.

As a child, she was taught that those were things you don’t discuss aloud, she told a crowd Sunday at Destiny Church in Indio.

But then, the congresswoman said it dawned on her that her family’s struggles were not unique and that staying silent was not only intolerable, but could be fatal to loved ones.

“Somewhere along the line, we stopped understanding that pain is normal,” she said. “Churches give us ways to deal with pain. Families give us strength. Not drugs.”

The congresswoman set aside her politics and opened up about her life to about 200 parishioners during two services at the nondenominational church.

Bono Mack spoke on her efforts to come to terms with her mother’s alcoholism and her son Chesare’s drug addiction. She answered questions from the audience.

“You tell yourself, ‘If they only loved me more, then they would stop,’” Bono Mack told the audience. “But it’s not about that.”

The only person in control of the addiction is the addict, she told them. “You have to set boundaries,” she said.

Chesare broke her boundaries, forcing her into one of the most difficult decisions of her life, Bono Mack told the crowd.

“He knew a boundary was he could not do drugs in my house,” she said. But he did, she said.

“I told him, ‘I’m enabling you to do drugs. You have to leave.’ That was a dark day.”

Many heads throughout the congregations nodded in empathy.

“My brother is addicted to (methamphetamine),” said John Villarreal of Indio. He, his wife Linda and daughter Rachel attend the church where he is a head usher.

They’ve made several attempts to pull his brother out of the addiction without success, Villarreal said.

“I brought him to church twice and he liked it,” he said. “But then the enemy of addiction took him again,” Rachel Villarreal finished.”

Bono Mack’s address gave him some hope, John Villarreal said.

Sunday was one of several such appearances Bono Mack has made since February when People magazine ran a story on her and Chesare’s struggles.

The speeches and interviews are part of an ongoing effort to shine a spotlight on addiction and its impact on the family, she said.

Her message worked perfectly with a sermon series created by church Pastor Obed Martinez, which addressed the struggles families faced in tough economic times.

Politics briefly popped into the event when Bono Mack mentioned her efforts to get tighter regulations on prescription drugs.

To hear the message from a successful woman like Bono Mack makes one realize how widespread the problem truly is, said Linda Villarreal, whose sister is addicted to pain killers and has withdrawn from the family.

“With the congresswoman coming here, she’s shown us she’s a lot like us,” she said.